Dating a prude guy
They were either variations of the “take her out to dinner and kiss her ass” variety (like that will get you laid fast) or the “lie to her and tell her you’re a doctor” variety (which was only good if you want one night stands…lying during the seduction phase is useless if you desire relationships or any other form of recurring sex). For most of my teenage and early adult years, I was under the impression that if I somehow “got” a woman to kiss me or have sex with me, I was somehow convincing her or tricking her into doing something she didn’t want to do.
So in my early 20s, I was the typical beta stumbling around in the dark, trying to do what felt right (which is almost always wrong when it comes to women), not getting laid very much beyond when I got lucky. Only much later in life did I discover it’s actually the exact opposite.
What I think about myself is the most important thing. I won’t change who I am to try to impress men by trying to be hypersexual or sleeping with him just so he doesn’t think I’m cold or prudish.
At the end of the day, I have to feel good about my sexual choices. I won’t put what men want over what I want, and this guy learned that very quickly.
That’s because back in the early 90s when I was in my early 20s, we didn’t have an internet, or PUA, or the manosphere, or any of that stuff.
Back then, if you wanted to get laid or get a girlfriend, you had to do it the old fashioned way, which means you had to hope you got a job with some cute female co-workers, or hope you could get a buddy who was a “natural”, and then do your best to clone what he did.
We met on a dating site and had a real-life date that was pretty awesome… It bugged me that he could feel comfortable enough to insult my sexuality without even knowing me. If not jumping into the sack with someone new on the second date makes me a prude then I welcome it. One of the reasons the guy used to try to change my mind about sex was that we had chemistry. I need more than a physical spark to want to have sex with someone.
He said it was frustrating—a lot of heavy making out with blue balls until then—but since he is, in fact, a good guy, he was willing to stick it out. The act of sex is often the thing talked about, not the various details of how your eyes looked when you reached orgasm. If anything, a man takes a woman sleeping with him early on as a sign that she is comfortable with him and that they are going to continue to date.
I once went out with a guy who said he emotionally identified as a woman and hated the constructs of the patriarchy, and, two hours later, lost his mind with joy over my new Brazilian wax. For at least six years, I have wanted to alert every man in my life to the following: Now, some women will certainly sleep with dudes on the first date, and more power to them.